It is only now,
After so long,
That I believe,
That there is more,
More for myself,
More for my life.
Maybe it is after realising,
Realising that our own lives
Cannot be defined by another's life
Or based on someone else's actions
It only leads to comparisons and feeling of guilt.
Me then: They have done it,I should have done it.
I should have, I didn't, I couldn't.
I couldn't then, I can't now, I never will.
Me now: They have done it, maybe I can.
I'm going to try and it's ok If I dont succeed this time I can always try again.
It is so easy to punish ourselves for the things we didn't do; what we could have done better/differently.
What we never do,or very rarely, is self praise. It seems as a society we have been taught that to be be humble is much more desirable. I'm not suggesting you go about gloating, or showing off to others but gloat to yourself! If you find yourself doubting your self,just remind yourself what you HAVE achieved.
When your inner critic tells you that you aren't good enough, when it doubts your ability, when it makes you over analyse every single situation; take a step back and challenge it, stand up to it. Treat it as if it's a typical playground bully. We have no control mostly over a bully being a bully, but how we react to it is completely within our control.
Bully: You are rubbish, a failure, you don't deserve to be happy and you definitely won't he able to do that.
Me then: I know I am,what's the point anymore.
Me now: Well that's what you think, but your opinion dosen't matter or make a difference anymore.
ACCEPTING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Accepting that our negative thoughts will creep in on us does not make us pessimists or mean we have given up, or in to them. It gives us the power to acknowledge them, but ignore them and replace them with something positive. Over time,in theory, the amount of negatives will be less and less and in time the positive thoughts will start to enter our minds first.
I think that there is a common misconception that acceptance of problems and illness especially mental is a negative thing, and like mentioned before, a sign of defeat. It couldn't be more the opposite. It is about accepting your problems, as part of you but not letting them define you.
You have a mental illness, you aren't mentally ill.
I have diabetes, I am not diabetic.
Yes, in essence, they mean the same thing but one gives off the impression of letting your problems/difficulties/differences define you as a whole when in fact the other just let's off that that is simply a small aspect of who you are.
Me then : I'm Alice, I'm mentally ill and I am diabetic and I can't control them.
Me now: I'm Alice, I have diabetes and I have a mental illness but today they are on their leashes.
We all talk about kicking the metaphorical 'black dog' down or fighting it. Perhaps that's our problem. Fighting it. Why not game it, train it and put it on a leash and bloody take control of it! YOU are the owner at the end of the day. YOU own your mind, it dosen't own you.
